I still remember that day, I had gone to meet her totally unaware of the words I was going to hear from her. we had not spoken for the last 3 days as we had a little fight. I thought that I will take her out, will spend some time at the beach, and will end the fight.
she came to meet me, she was looking very sad and her eyes were reddish.
“Adi, we should stop being in a relationship, I cannot pretend anymore when I already know that we don’t have any future”
I didn’t have any reaction as it took me some time to understand what she is saying. She continued.
“I don’t want to lose you as a person but I don’t want to be in any relationship. Nothing will change, we will meet and talk like we used but, just as friends”
I could see tears in her eyes. I asked her, can I borrow 20 rs, I don’t have any change.
“I got to go Neeraja”, I said
I took 20 rs from her and took off, went straight to a nearby shop, bought 1 cigarette, lit it, and took a few drags. My mind was in shock.
I was flooded with all kinds of emotions but was I unable to make sense of them. I felt tears down my cheeks, I turned another way so the store owner won’t see that.
I started walking towards my room. After 1 hour I found myself crying uncontrollably. That day my 3 years long beautiful relationship ended. I was shattered into pieces.
Then started an almost 3 years long journey filled with pain, struggle, and of course personal growth. That breakup had given me scars, nothing could heal. Some part of my soul went with her but that is fine. Its life.
It’s been 3.5 years since the breakup, and I find myself in a much better place personally and emotionally. Became a more practical, rational, and emotionally independent person.
- I have understood myself deeply, my deep fears, my flaws, and my qualities. I understood the things I did wrong in the relationship, where I had wronged/misbehaved with her unknowingly. I am going to use that wisdom in the new relationship, my married life
- I have become strong, I don’t get sad anymore. I have found peace within me. I m fully content with myself emotionally. I am emotionally independent.
- I have become very secure with my looks, voice, and personality. I used to be a very insecure person before.
- I have become very confident in myself that I can deal with anything, no matter what googly life throws at me.
- I have gotten very mature, and my perspective on life changed completely. I see the world how it is deep down. I used to be very immature before.
- I found myself with a lot of good stories to write on Quora, actually, I started Quora with her stories. Before her, I never knew that I could write. That has made me start this blog also.
- I had quit smoking also.
I have found love again and got married. I am very happy in my personal and professional life.